I bought a box of Pillsbury Key Lime Premium Cookie Mix. It was an accident, really. I thought it was a lime cake mix. I made them today finally, mostly to just get it off of the shelf where it reminded me of a failure to read a box thoroughly.
I thought I’d share my opinion of them.
I love lime. I mean I really love limes. However, I don’t love these cookies. They are barely edible.
So what is it that I find so dreadful about them?
They are gritty, plain and simple. It turns out that it’s the “tart candy bits” in the cookie. Apparently, some rocket scientist in their development department thought that adding these chunks of grit with their sweet-sour flavor would enhance the cookie.
Maybe if you are five and don’t mind sand in your food.
The real problem is that lime isn’t a traditional hot flavor for the younger set. Neither is monochromatic green. I suspect it reminds them of the vegetables they had to eat to get to the dessert course or something. Sure, kids love sweets, but Moms and Grandmas are usually the bakers. Dad and Grandpa are also consumers of said cookies.
Not one person that tried these cookies liked that grit sensation in their mouth. Some complained of indigestion brought on by the acidic sour candy bits.
Wake up, Pillsbury. We don’t like grit and we don’t like our sweet treats to give us heartburn either. It’s bad enough that it probably contains GMOs and unpronounceable things like “propylene glycol monoesters” written in pastel green lettering on a white background so that it’s nearly impossible to read.
I have no idea what those monoesters are, but the word looks frighteningly similar to monsters to me…so I hit Wikipedia for a quick definition of what the diabolical sounding stuff really was. This is what they said.
Propylene glycol is considered generally recognized as safe (GRAS) by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, and it is used as an humectant (E1520), solvent, and preservative in food and for tobacco products, as well as being the major ingredient in the liquid used in electronic cigarettes. It is also used in pharmaceutical and personal care products. Propylene glycol is a solvent in many pharmaceuticals, including oral, injectable and topical formulations, such as for diazepam and lorazepam that are insoluble in water, use propylene glycol as a solvent in theirclinical, injectable forms.
Link to page on Wikipedia is here.
Considering the joy of the Deepwater Horizon oil spill and the rumors of very evil diseases and afflictions striking clean up crews, eating something closely related to the dispersant is kind of creepy. So is the idea of using an ingredient from electronic cigarettes for a treat I’d give my granddaughter.
I think I’ll pass on another round of cookie mix, especially this version. It’s not pleasant to eat, seems to cause indigestion (even in me, the woman with the cast iron stomach) and has less-than-stellar additives in the mix.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a health food nazi–but since I have to watch my calorie intake, I’m sure as heck going to want my luxury treats to taste good, have a pleasant texture, and preferably not cause some horrible disease or reaction. Maybe my granddad was right. The best desserts are homemade from scratch.